The inspiration for this post comes from an email I received a while ago, but I wasn’t sure if I should visit the topic, because to my mind, countingonaccounting is a ‘serious’ blog. I had to re-evaluate what I considered as serious here – after all, the blog is for exams, tips, and passing ACCA/Professional Accounting Exams; and any matter which hinders passing exams should be serious enough.
There is a summary of the email:
Female ACCA student is stuck, after taking the same paper 5 times. She feels pressure from her family, especially the boyfriend is the major reason why she has not progresses with her professional exams. She desperately dreams of being a chartered accountant, fulfilling her father’s dream, and make him proud, but she is also afraid of loosing the boyfriend. She also points out that she is bitter because the boyfriend knows how much she fears loosing him,and that her chances of finding someone else is slim, so he uses this against her. She fears choosing between her dreams, and her man.
Another reason why it took me so long to put this up, was because it seemed to me, that she was seeking validation for choosing her boyfriend over her dreams. In her own words “Leave professional exams for just a while” . My questions to her were “are you happier now?”; “Do you still feel bitter?” (as we emailed back and forth).
*She is not African or Asian, so her choosing boyfriend over career is not ‘cultural’
Although each person must make her/his own decisions, the benefits of having the right support is invaluable. The chartered accountants interviewed here on this blog all mention how valuable the support of the people around them was to their success; Khairat even mentions how her boyfriend (now husband) supported her by not being judgmental about the hours she put into achieving her goals.
Any chartered accountant can tell you about the sacrifices, and discipline required for professional exams. What keeps us on track is the determination to achieve that goal. Of course, no one lives in a bubble, where the only thing that matters is being a chartered accountant, so choices will have to be made at some point – if you don’t have supportive people around you. But before you make those choices, it is important to consider your happiness – that is, if you are at peace with your decisions; no bitterness, or blame.
I was not in a relationship till i took my last ACCA papers. This was because I just could not dedicate time to a relationship – yes my exams were more important to me at that point. I think I should mention that for me, there was no one worth making that big a decision for. I had family to deal with, and wonderful friends; for me that was enough.
Do you think a student has to choose between exams and relationships? Please share your thoughts on this.
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